Is that "love," or selfishness? And what will be the long lasting affects on the children?

Having just gone through a very painful divorce, I can offer this word of advise to both parties: "Spend time evaluating the person that you're considering dating or marrying. Do not, and I repeat, do not ignore red flags that you might see in a person because all it will do is end up backfiring and hurting you in the long run."

I'm currently in a serious fight with my ex-wife just to see my daughters. Even after the judge signed a divorce decree granting visitation rights, she refuses to honor the ruling. In defiance, my ex-wife leaves messages on my voicemail to let me know that I am not going to get them. She furthermore threatens that should I make any attempt to get my daughters, she is going to call the cops and have me arrested like she has before. If I call her, she accuses me of harassment.

In the past, I have sent letters in advance reminding her of my pending visitation days, and even been accompanied by police to retrieve my children. All for naught!

I am forced to tread lightly because she has had me arrested before on false charges. Only after time-off work, legal fees and another court appearance, I was able to have the charges dropped. However, at no time was my ex-wife charged with any violation of the law, nor was she forced to allow me to visit my children.

On one hand my ex-wife wants me to honor the child support requirements imposed by the courts, but on the other hand, she refuses to honor the judges decree giving me the right to visit and have my daughters with me during assigned times.

Again, the children and I suffer from this ongoing battle. I am being denied my rights as a parent and the kids suffer from not having a caring father involved in their lives during the critical developmental years.

I am in a "Catch 22" predicament. If I refuse to pay child support, my children suffer. If I pay the court ordered support, no court enforces my rights to share my children's lives.

"Where are the laws to protect and enforce the rights of the non-custodial parent?" The law should be changed. The first time the non-custodial parent is denied access the court needs to issue a warning. The second time it happens, the non-compliant parent needs to go straight to jail for a night or two. If it happens a third time, then the judge should allow the non-custodial parent to become the new and rightful custodial parent.

It's time for the judicial system to start showing that they do care for the interest of the people. These issues continue to plague me and cause constant pain and pressure from being denied access to my children. However, I have found help in my struggle.

One of my friends introduced me to "Fathers Are Parents Too" (FAPT). I called and spoke with Stephen Patrick who shared with me a lot of insight about FAPT. It was not only helpful but also inspiring and I wanted to be a part of what these men were doing. After my initial contact, I started to receive a lot of support from others all over Georgia.

My low self-esteem and confidence have begun to build, and with the help of FAPT, I now know what my rights are under the law.

Without the money to sustain long legal battles, I have been counseled on how to use the resources of the court and the legal system to help me gain access to my daughters-at least in compliance with the judge's original decree.

The struggle continues, but at least I am no longer alone in my fight.